Easter Part 2: His Forgivness

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A few days ago I talked about how stressful and crazy last Easter was for me and how those memories, in a way, hunting me. To read what I had said, click here. 

This week I have been working on my Break Free homework, remember I mentioned this back in February, if not you can find that here. This weeks homework was about the past and breaking free from it. As I mentioned before, parts of last years I wanted to break a way from, yet at the same time it was a beautiful time because it confirmed in me the direction the Lord has set before.

First things first, I had to let go of those weird feelings I had in association to Easter last year. I had to let that go so I could embrace what God has already done. Did you get that? Not what he is planning to do (although that still counts), but what he has already done!  I had to take time to let go of the bitterness that had grow up inside me that I was in denial that was there. I had to forgive the guy who taught be how to run the lights at my church then quit. It's a fact that it happened, but he didn't do it on purpose to hurt me or to give me a burden that I didn't feel ready to hold. I had to forgive those who where now placed under me, because I felt they had some resentment now having me as a leader instead of the other guy. I had to forgive myself. That was the hardest part. It's easy, for me anyway, to hold things to myself to let myself beat me up and not let myself forget the things I have done. I had to let go of those things and forgive myself. Once I did all that the weird feeling about last Easter faded away. It is creeping back up as I look back as I write then. But I just tell those thoughts creeping back into my brain that those are forgiven. I released those feelings, they no longer have a hold on me!

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him,  who have been called according to his purpose."        - Romans 8:28

  I've done a lot of odd jobs in my life. I have experienced more things in the first 30 years of my life then most people do by the time they are twice my age. Some things are bad, most for good even if they may still may be considered odd. I use to wonder "Am I ever going to use any these talents and skills that I've learned over the years?" Skills like, music, art, and a hidden love for technology. It wasn't until I got this position that I started to see all these little skills and life experiences come together in my light director duties. Things from knowing music: parts of music, time signatures, bpm, and understanding the band when they talk out their songs in musical terms. Knowing art: color, light, shadows, and movement of the eye. These are just to point out a few, but there are more like managing people skills, technology skills, drawing, 10-key, document design, and having a freaky good memory. I always wanted to be apart of a media team, way back in my high school days, but there was always a "boys club" mentality to it and it wasn't until this moment in time that the doors opened up and allowed me to be "one of the guys." Then all of these past skills fell into place and are no longer void back in the recesses of my mind and time. They were not left for not to be useless experiences. I still have more to give, but it is up to God's time for when they will be put to good use and for what purpose. I will do as he calls me to do, and I have to say I never thought I ever get a change to be on a media crew for a church and I never thought it would be on lights and I never thought I would love it and get this much enjoyment.

However, if it wasn't until the death of Jesus on that cross then the death of death when he conquered the grave that any of this would be possible; the forgiveness and the purpose of life and skills. By him doing this he opened the door for me to approach the throne of grace, the throne of the almighty God and ask for forgiveness and receive it.  If it wasn't for Jesus I would still have to slaughter a bull and do it every 5 minutes because I'm a messed up human. But Jesus paid for my sins once. All I have to do is ask, receive and remember that God forgets my sins.

"The LORD is compassionate and gracious,
   slow to anger, abounding in love.
He will not always accuse,
   nor will he harbor his anger forever;
he does not treat us as our sins deserve
   or repay us according to our iniquities.
For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
   so great is his love for those who fear him;
as far as the east is from the west,
   so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
  As a father has compassion on his children,
   so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him;
 for he knows how we are formed,
   he remembers that we are dust.
The life of mortals is like grass,
   they flourish like a flower of the field;
 the wind blows over it and it is gone,
   and its place remembers it no more.
But from everlasting to everlasting
   the LORD’s love is with those who fear him,
   and his righteousness with their children’s children—
 with those who keep his covenant
   and remember to obey his precepts."                       - Psalm 103:8-18

Here is a little music video to leave you with. This is David Crowder Band and their song How He Loves. It is one of my favorite songs by them. I just love how this video makes it look like the lead, David Crowder, is on his laptop video chatting with someone about the love Jesus has for us as he walks through this house. I hope you enjoy and Happy Easter.






*Update*
Here is the video from my Pastor's sermon that goes right along with what I said in this post. I hope you find it helpful and encouraging as I did.