Only the Lonely

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There is a verse that has been bugging me for awhile, it is Proverbs 19:7

A poor man is shunned by all his relatives--how much more do his friends avoid him! Though he pursues them with pleading, they are nowhere to be found.

Everyone knows someone or has experienced it for themselves, the hardship that has come in our economic state. It saddens me because it is so easy is our way of life to let people fall into the cracks. It's something I've experienced and seen first hand. With the way our world works, if you don't keep up with the Jones' and keep up a certain level of appearance it's easy for people to just forget you and not reach out to you in hard times. It takes a lot of money, it seems to be friends with people, and  it shouldn't be that way.

Think about it. To be part of a MOPS or small social group it can be expensive to someone who can't afford to pitch in for a snack that everyone can share. Even more expensive if you have food allergies like we do, when you have to bring separate snacks, because you can't eat what is being offered to everyone else. You can't just go to the zoo or museums because of the cost of tickets. Play dates can be hard for those with food allergies too, because bread can cost so much and very little is picnic friendly, at least it is for my picky eater. If you have to share a car you can't go many places if your spouse needs it for work. You have to mindful of how frequently you drive and the distance because of gas prices. You can't afford a baby sitter. All of these things makes it very hard to be social in a world that is hurting so much by financial stress. Can you see how people can just get lost or forgotten? Someone just stops showing up to play group or bible study and no one follows up or asks where so 'n so.

Then there is the shame the other person feels because they can't go and do things with their friends, they can't pay to take their kids to the zoo, they can't drive the car so far because their spouse needs the gas. They try to do what they can by trying to host play dates at park near their house or offer to baby site so their children can have a friend over for a few house.

Our pastor this past week was talking about depression and how to help cope with depression or help a loved one who is currently suffering from depression. One of his points what that community is vital and I agree. When I had PPD after my daughter was born I felt better just getting out of the house and trying to make at least one play date a week. It was so hard to get up and get dressed and do things, but once I did I felt better. But the point that I'm trying to make is that those who suffer because they've lost their job or their spouses hours got cut or they were promoted without a pay increase and are now finding themselves in a place where the world seems empty and lonely. When going through hard times a friend are so vital and much needed, but often not available. Why?

We need people we are created that way. God gave Adam a wife because he was lonely. Having someone to talk to and share the good and bad with is necessary to not feel alone in this world and to see the hope that is going to come. When facing a hard time it is easy to be so wrapped up in all the bad and difficult things going on that the world just seems dark and empty. Where as a friend can shine some light and point out the good and the hopeful.

Those who are in need just don't need food and help with bills, but friendship to know that they aren't alone. It can be difficult to stand by someones side when they are facing a battle so hard that their seems to be no end. At first people are willing to help and offer support, but as the trail goes one, people start to drift away and become worn out because the trail just goes on and their seems to be no end. It's hard to be around someone who always seems to be a downer, but if they can't see the positives in life, how can they ever see good if someone doesn't stick to their side and show them the light?

God tells us to endure the trials of life, James 1:2-4. He also tells us to carry each others burdens Galatians 6:2. When Paul received aid he said it was a "fragrant offering, an acceptable sacrifice, pleasing to God." Philippians 4:18. Helping others and taking care of those in need are commands from God. He tells us to take care of each other and to help those in need. When so many people are facing challenges and unending trails (as it appeasers) it is easy to see how so many are depressed and feeling hopeless in their circumstances.

We should all take time to find out how someone truly is doing and how they are feeling and befriend them. If they need help, help them, but most importantly be their friend. Don't let someone you know go through the trials of life alone. And messaging them on Facebook or Twitter doesn't count. Get some face to face time or at least call them on the phone.